A couple days ago I saw a tweet in my timeline by someone named Bryan Behar. He paid tribute to the passing of President Bush and people subsequently lost their minds and unfollowed him because they took it as an endorsement of some of Bush’s more troubling policies. I started reading through his other tweets and…well…
Now we’re best friends.
He just doesn’t know it.
We haven’t really interacted or anything, but let me explain.
I first read his most recent piece wherein he explains that he spent the first 50 years of his life avoiding criticism. Trying to keep his voice hidden so that his “limited reservoir of self-esteem” wouldn’t crumble if people came at him. Which was somewhat challenging since he’s a writer in Hollywood, having written for 23 sitcoms in the last 20 years. Since turning 50, though, he’s turned over a new leaf and is finding and sharing his voice, regardless of what the world has to say in response.
Then I saw that he lost his father to suicide, too.
The piece he wrote that I linked to in the previous sentence is amazing. And I don’t mean just that it’s well-written, though it is. It’s amazing because of all the parallels to my own story; my own experience. His dad was confident, a strong provider. Nobody had any idea he’d even consider suicide. Even Bryan’s description of the feeling of disbelief until he arrived to the “crime scene” (suicide is not a crime, but the scene is reminiscent of one) was exactly how I experienced it. Bryan was 43 when his dad died by suicide, I was 37.
Bryan also wrote a piece about triggers for survivors of suicide and why he writes about it so often. I’m not joking when I say that I could have written these. What I mean is that my thoughts about these things so closely mirror his, it’s almost eerie. In a good way. If that’s a thing.
Bryan’s a sports guy, as am I. Our politics are similar. He’s hilarious.
I’m just sitting here watching 60 Minutes and eating soup. Because I’m 700 years old.
— Bryan Behar (@bryanbehar) December 3, 2018
And here’s the cherry on top…
He’s a crier.
No joke, on my way home from work yesterday I started sobbing thinking about all of this. Hear me out.
I truly believe there’s nothing more important in this world than connection. Of knowing – not just FEELING – but, KNOWING that you’re not alone. We all need that. We all want that. Even people who “hate everyone” desire connection. So, when I thought about the connections Bryan and I share, it overwhelmed me. In a good way. It reminded me, too, of all the amazing people in my life that I’m connected to. I just started to type out some names, but I’m already at 447 words.
The point is this: connection is everything.
Take some time today to think about the people in your life that you’re connected to and maybe reach out to a couple of them and just tell them thanks.
And Bryan, if you’re reading this…maybe some day we can talk and become actual friends.
That would actually make me feel less stalker-ish, which would be good.