The Top 3 Reasons I Won’t Buy An Apple Watch

September 9, 2014 — 4 Comments

Let’s start here: The new Apple Watch looks cool as heck.

That said, I will not be purchasing said watch.

And it’s not that I don’t want one.

See, watches have always been hit or miss for me. As you might imagine, it’s a bit tricky when you only have one hand. I’ve had several over the years, but they’ve never been high on my list of priorities. Well, except for this one:

The Calculator Watch!

The Calculator Watch!

So, why won’t my wrist be home to this new-fangled fancy-schmancy gadget from Apple? For several of the same reasons I never got the calculator watch.

First of all, there’s really no practical way for me to take advantage of the touch functions on the screen. It’s been suggested I wear a watch on my left arm, but to that I say – you try wearing a watch above the crook of your elbow next to your bicep. Yeah, not gonna happen. I’ve also been told that the watch has Siri. I’d like to talk to my watch on occasion, but not on every occasion. The screen technology looks amazing, but isn’t accessible for me.

"Touch me!" said the screen.

“Touch me!” said the screen.

Second of all, that sweet looking digital crown dealio. Looks totally rad, right? Well, I’d never be able to use it. This has always been an issue with cool watches I’ve wanted. They have buttons and knobs all over the dang place, which is just not practical for me. Buttons for lights and timers and modes and laps and whatever the dang heck else they can fit on there! So, enjoy pressing and playing with that button with your other hand. Seriously. Enjoy it.

Look at that thing. Just teasing me.

Look at that thing. Just teasing me.

And thirdly, most of the straps are ill-suited for folks with one hand. Now, I will say that a couple of them, what with their magnetic features, look decently usable. But, most of them are not. You can see my current watch and the type of closure it has in the following video:

View this post on Instagram

This is how I put on my watch.

A post shared by Ryan Haack (@livingonehanded) on

Now, truth be told, I pulled that watch out of my dresser drawer to make this video. I haven’t worn it in months. Why?

BECAUSE I HAVE A PHONE THAT HAS, LIKE, SEVEN MILLION CLOCKS ON IT.

Seriously, the most brilliant part of this whole deal is that Apple has convinced us all that WE MUST HAVE WATCHES. Let’s be honest, nobody needs a watch. Nobody. And our phones already do virtually everything this new watch does. But, man oh man, is it cool! It looks amazing and the technology seems incredible and I don’t fault a single person on Earth for wanting one, but it certainly isn’t a necessity.

Which, in a round about way, brings me to my last point: Not everything is for everybody. I could throw a fit about how this watch is not limb-different friendly and lambaste Apple for not thinking of ME, but the fact of the matter is that the majority of Apple’s customers will be able to use it flawlessly. And their job, as a business, is to focus on those who are going to buy and use their product. So, while it’s a bummer that it’s not going to work for me, it’s not like they’re infringing on my rights. They’ve made an incredible product that is going to be awesome for tons of people.

Just not me.

And that’s totally fine. They don’t owe me anything. I’ll just play with one of my friends’ when they get one.

Unless, you know, Apple wants to send me one to test.

Ryan

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I'm a husband, a father, an author, a speaker, a friend...all kinds of things, actually.

4 responses to The Top 3 Reasons I Won’t Buy An Apple Watch

  1. To go along with your last reason, your phone does everything you need.

    The iWatch “Requires” that you have and iPhone to use it.

  2. My feelings exactly on watches in general. Just not going to happen.

  3. I miss wearing a watch regularly and knowing what time it is at a glance, without pulling outa phone, etc. … but finding one with an easy-enough strap (or large enough for my elbow-disarticulation stump) has been elusive.

  4. I have an iphone 4S and I intend to upgrade probably to the iphone 6 Plus. But I want to test drive the 6 Plus in the store first to see how it fits in my hand. I have the kindle app on my 4S and I love it because it allows me to easily read on the bus. I need to make sure I can still hold the 6 Plus in my hand and operate everything as usual with my thumb.

    The Apple Watch probably isn’t for us. But that’s ok because it cost too much anyway. It’s possible that Siri might make it work without the crown thing but it is too early to tell. I use Siri a lot on my 4S…probably more than most people.

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