Last week I emailed a boatload of people I’ve been friends with over the years to solicit their perspective about being friends with a guy with one hand.
The responses so far have been eye-opening.
One thing I asked was for them to retell any funny stories they could remember.
Here’s one of my favorites:
“I remember one time when we were playing foosball. You mentioned that you were at a disadvantage, so I offerred to play with one arm behind my back. Much to my horror, what you meant was that you had, like, three guys missing from your team because they were broken off. I was so embarrassed!”
It’s so interesting and valuable to hear the perspectives of my friends. I’m learning things about myself that I never would have known otherwise. And I’m hearing a lot of things for the first time that will help me immensely as I attempt to help others. As I process them, I’ll share what I learn.
For instance, I’m learning that a lot of my very close friends didn’t know how I had lost my arm for quite some time! It makes all the sense in the world, too. They didn’t feel comfortable asking right away and I think I just assume that people know I was born that way, so I never directly address it. When I meet people for the first time now, my inclination will be to answer their unanswered question about what happened to my arm.
You know, the alligator incident.
Don’t freak them out like that poor nurse…lol
… or you could just sing everyone’s favorite Gaga song. 😉
are you planning to share more of your friends’ thoughts? i’m assuming so – i love that idea.
i so appreciate your blog, because sometimes it is difficult for me to imagine tate as a one-handed adult. becuase, you know, i’m in total denial that my kids will stop being kids someday. 🙂
I am…though I might save many of them for the memoir. 😉 I’m actually planning on doing some podcasts soon, too!
And I’m sure Tate will make a fine one-handed gentleman. hehe
Well, I have been like your friends with my leg and arm amputee friends too, Ryan .. too polite being English to ask (or too embarrassed). Over the years I hear little snippets (add 2 + 2 and make 97). But one actually after I had known him for over 10 years said “Do you know, Ivor, you are the only friend who has never asked me how I lost my leg?”
So it can work both ways. He went to say in his view I had accepted him as he was and that had encouraged himn no end.
That’s great! Thanks for sharing, Ivor!
Love this! (My son (9 years old) was also born one handed. He is a right arm above elbow congenital amp.)
I always thought he did the ‘I was born this way’ response, but recently came to find out he has been embellishing and scaring the little ones. The newest version is that he was attached by a shark while hiking in Colorado. (hilarious and wrong on so many levels!)
Anyhow, just also wanted to thank you – since I stumbled across your blog, my boy has been very interested in how you do it all – he wrapped Christmas presents this year and has gotten better with shoelaces.
So, thanks and keep blogging!
Mountain sharks are the WORST. lol
Thanks for commenting, Katie. So glad to hear your son is liking the videos! I’ll keep writing and making videos if you guys promise to keep reading and watching! 🙂
When I was in the hospital recovering from my arm amputation the technician comes in to get my blood and asks, “Which arm?” 🙂 😉