If you could see my YouTube history, you’d have lots of questions.
For instance, I watch a TON of restoration videos. Old toys, gaming systems, tools, shoes, watches…if it’s in terrible condition and someone repairs it, I’m watching it. I love seeing something that is broken become new again. Something you’d typically throw away given new life. The process is fascinating to me and the result is so satisfying.
One of the things I acquired after my dad died was his snare drum. I’ve always loved it. It’s shiny and sturdy and reliable. That said, I don’t play. Never have. Probably never will. And as I was going through stuff in my garage a few months ago (because what else are you going to do during a pandemic?), I saw it sitting on our top shelf and realized that it’s just been sitting, unused for probably 50+ years. It went from my dad’s basement shelves to my garage shelves. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but…
I started to think about how I’d bring it back to life. How could I get it to someone that would restore it to its former glory and actually use it again? I was nervous, but I put it on Facebook Marketplace and Randy reached out. Randy lives about an hour and a half north and plays in several different bands and was interested in adding my dad’s drum to his collection. I told him that I didn’t mean to make things awkward, but that it was important to me that it went to someone who was going to make it like new again and actually use it and that I would love to see pictures.
Randy was more than agreeable. He drove all the way down and met me and we talked for a bit. A few weeks later he sent pictures and, well, it just made me so happy.
And here’s the part you probably anticipated was coming.
I can’t bring my dad back to life. I can’t make him new again. Today marks six years that we’ve been without him and it still sucks. It doesn’t hurt as much, for the most part, but it still stings from time to time. I’ve noticed that I’ve wanted to just hangout with him recently. Like, just sit around drinking a beer and talking about sports and the kids and whatever else. We didn’t do a ton of that. I wish we did. And I wish we could now.
I bristle a little when people say that time heals. It certainly makes things different. And it’s definitely a part of the healing process, but time alone can’t heal anything. I’ve found family, friends, focus and…ferapy…has helped most. Ok, the alliteration didn’t totally work, but it was close! Seriously, being able to talk about things with friends, family and a good therapist has helped me get to a good place and focusing on the things that are important to me helps keep me moving in the right direction. I know that’s what my dad would want me to be doing.
So…Dad. I miss you. I love you. And while I know I can’t bring them with me and someone else is banging your snare, I’m gonna hang-on to your drumsticks.