Yes, You Can! A Message of Triumph

February 27, 2014 — Leave a comment

Yesterday I got a call from Lloyd Bachrach letting me know that he was giving two presentations at a school near me.

I was introduced to Lloyd about a year and a half ago and this is the first chance I had to meet him, so even though it was really short notice…I went.

Of course.

And I’m so glad I did!

lloyd bachrach ryan haack

Selfie time with Lloyd Bachrach!

Lloyd is a remarkable man, full of energy. He was born with two short legs and he tells his story so well in his presentation. From what the doctors said to his parents to learning to walk to finally deciding he “wanted to be taller,” which resulted in his being fitted for prosthetic legs. The first group of kids were grades K-2 and he handled them like nobody’s business! It was funny to watch the teachers shaking their heads and making comments. “He’s in FULL control!” one of them would whisper. And he was. The second group was grades 3-5 and his presentation was a touch different, but not much. It was incredible to see how confident he was and how the kids respected him.

lloyd bachrach

The kids in rapt attention during the second presentation of the day.

Lloyd spoke about his “dream-makers”: the principal who allowed him into her public school (there were no laws saying she had to at that time – pre-ADA) and his gym teacher who pushed him into sports. Lloyd participated in everything you can imagine, but ultimately became a gymnast, finishing 5th in the entire state of Illinois his senior year of high school! After that, he was a member of the US sitting volleyball team that competed in the Paralympics in Atlanta in 1996.

The kids LOVED his demonstrations. He showed how he walks in his prosthetics and without them. He showed how he runs, with his arms and legs. He also gave an incredible gymnastics demonstration! Incredibly memorable.

I really appreciated the messages he had for the kids. He spoke about where the term “handicapped” came from and why he doesn’t like it and what he prefers instead. Even the word disabled has a connotation to it that says, “You are unable.” So, he tells the kids what he prefers: Differently abled. “See how I ran? I was able to do it, I just do it a little bit different than you do,” he pointed out. Sound familiar? He also shared his keys to living successfully; to overcoming the difficulties we all face in life. Simple, clear and powerful. What also struck me was his bravery. He literally ripped his pants off in front of hundreds of kids and adults he didn’t know. He stood in front of them, proud of who he is and showed them what makes him different and how awesome it is. I loved it. If you have the chance to bring Lloyd to your school, business or whatever, I suggest you do it. Just so good.

As we were walking out together, we made our way carefully through kids playing in the gym (indoor recess). Many of them came up to him and excitedly explained that they, too, were trying to play sitting volleyball! And they gave him high-fives. And one girl gave him a big hug. As we made it out into the hall, he looked at me and said, “And that is what it’s all about.”

And I agree 100%.

To learn more about Mr. Bachrach and his program, visit the “Yes, You Can!” website!

In Help, Hope
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What To Do When Your Child Doesn’t Like How She Looks

February 23, 2014 — 11 Comments

I often see parents posting about that dreaded moment. That moment when her child notices that there’s something different about her…and she hates it.

How are we to react in that moment?

Giving parenting advice is tricky. There’s no one “right way” to parent and I get that, so these are just my thoughts; take them with a grain of salt. For one, you’ll never hear me tell anybody how they should or shouldn’t think or feel.  Especially parents.  If your child’s newfound discovery and reaction makes you feel sad or guilty or angry and confused, I get it.  Those are reasonable feelings to have.  I’d like to be an encouragement to you, though.

I can only speak for myself, but I know many other limb-different adults who would agree…if I ever got angry or sad about my arm at an early age, I have no recollection of it.  None.

When our children are small, we help to shape how they think.  I remember when my kids were little, if they fell, I’d cheer.  They’d peer up at me with a look of surprise on their face, like, “Wait…I think I’m hurt.  Shouldn’t you be freaking out?”  And there I’d be, clapping and yelling, “Yay!  That was awesome!”  Then they’d pop up and carry on.  I’m sure you’ve experienced what happens when you gasp and cover your mouth and shout, “OH NO!”  The kid sees YOU freaking out, so THEY freak out.  I’m not a therapist, but I think it’s the same with this situation.  Your little one gets angry and sad about his hand and if you indicate to them that, yes, it IS a raw deal, they’ll carry that with them.  On the other hand, so to speak, if you allow them to feel what they’re feeling, but encourage them to view it as something positive, I believe that can shape their perspective, too.

Continue Reading…

In Help, Hope, Humor
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You Are Important And We Need You

February 13, 2014 — 3 Comments

Something happened at work today that made me really angry.

I’m a Team Lead in the Customer Service department for a health insurance company, so I spend a lot of my day having phone conversations with angry people. I also try to help my team know how to handle “difficult callers.” As you might imagine, it’s been pretty tense around the office this year, what with all the changes in health care. With that in mind, I sent out an email to our whole department reminding them how talented and important they are and included a list of ten tips for handling difficult callers. Shortly afterward, I noticed a coworker speaking with my supervisor and she looked pretty shaken-up.

It turned out she had a difficult call, so I listened to it to see what happened. Let me say here that in the nearly nine years I’ve been in this call center, I’ve heard a lot of bad calls. And this one still shocked me. The woman was rude the entire time and then put her boyfriend on at the end only to have him say, “I want to speak to somebody who has a clue what they’re doing.” My co-worker rightly said that she did know what she was doing and he then demanded a supervisor. He had a few more disparaging remarks before he emphatically stated, “You must be black.” As she is a black woman, she calmly said she was ending the call to which he yelled, “F*** YOU, B****!”

To say I wanted to form a search party and go find this clown is an understatement.

Continue Reading…

In Hope
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How To Get From Boston To Milwaukee In 30 Hours

January 31, 2014 — 2 Comments

This is the conclusion of my four-part recap of the Helping Hands Foundation’s 2014 Winter Outing.  Read about Friday here, Saturday here and Sunday here.

While my travel to the outing was uneventful, my trip home was…kind of a disaster.

Tony, Nikki and I left the hotel a little after 10am and my flight to Philadelphia departed as planned around 130pm.  I arrived in Philly, took the shuttle to Terminal F, and waited for my 522pm flight to Milwaukee.  We were all sitting there, waiting and watching for our plane to arrive at the gate.  5pm, still no plane.  515pm, no plane.  Finally we were told the plane would arrive at 6pm and we’d leave at 645pm.  The plane finally arrived at 630pm and we waited for an update.  The woman at the gate said something about the pilot needing 15 more minutes to talk to the people in Milwaukee “to make sure it’s safe.”  That was the first indication we had that we might not be going home that night.

Finally, the woman came back and I’ll never forget the look of fear on her face.  She didn’t even use the PA system, she just blurted out, “It’s cancelled.”  Of course a ton of irate people ran at her, like SHE made the decision to cancel it.  What did they want her to do? “Oh, I can see you’re all very upset, so, never mind!  Let’s board and head to Milwaukee! Hope you don’t die!”  Just dumb.  So, we all had to stand in line and try to reschedule our flights.  Rumors were swirling about why the flight was cancelled and when we’d be able to get out of Philly.  I met a few people who I got to help make laugh, so that was nice.  I finally got to the counter and was super jokey with the lady, which she seemed to appreciate.  The first flight she found me had me getting into Milwaukee at 230am on Tuesday.  Yeah…no.  I had her look again and she found the LAST flight to Charlotte, NC at 5, connecting me to Milwaukee around 1030.  “Sweet, I’ve never been to North Carolina!” I said.  She laughed.  She printed my tickets and off I went.

Continue Reading…

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Helping Hands Foundation 2014 Winter Outing: Sunday

January 30, 2014 — 1 Comment

This is my recap of the Helping Hands Foundation’s 2014 Winter Outing.  Read about Friday here and Saturday here.

Did you know that the Australian Open (tennis) was on LIVE at 4am Sunday morning?

I didn’t, but found it after getting back to my room around then.

That’s what happens when you’re making friends.

After a few hours of sleep (which would become incredibly unfortunate later), I packed-up and headed downstairs for breakfast.  Another buffet, featuring bacon and various other breakfast foods.  Eventually I made my rounds, giving hugs and goodbyes to friends, old and new.  We also had our annual HHF Winter Outing picture with the incomparable Dayna and Vennessa!

Dayna, Tony, Nikki, Moi, Beka, Nick and Vennessa

Dayna, Tony, Nikki, Moi, Beka, Nick and Vennessa

Last year I really had no idea what to expect when I attended for the first time.  And it changed my life.  It really did.  That’s why I was so excited to come back this year!  It’s amazing to hear attendee after attendee talking about how they’ve been coming for ten, fifteen, twenty, even thirty years!  And yet, I feel like a part of the family.  That’s what I appreciate most about Helping Hands.  The acceptance, the love, the laughter, the support…it’s all there in spades.  That’s why I can’t see ever not attending.  Maybe that’ll change some day, but I can’t imagine how.

Continue Reading…

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Helping Hands Foundation 2014 Winter Outing: Saturday

January 29, 2014 — 4 Comments

This is my recap of the Helping Hands Foundation’s Winter Outing.  Read about Friday here.

Saturday arrived a bit early for my taste, but I got downstairs in time for breakfast and a couple of great speakers.

Nicole Kelly, Miss Iowa 2013, was first to take the stage and she owned it.  It was so cool to finally meet Nikki (I had interviewed her last year) and see her in action.  She was positive and encouraging and challenging, all at the same time.  It was fun to see all the kids lined-up to get pictures with her and to see her interacting with them all.  Nikki gives speeches all the time, but this was different than usual.  You could see her eyes twinkling as each little girl and boy came to her and showed her what made them different.  She made them each feel special.

Me and Nicole

Me and Nicole

Continue Reading…

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Helping Hands Foundation 2014 Winter Outing: Friday

January 28, 2014 — 2 Comments

This is my recap of the Helping Hands Foundation’s 2014 Winter Outing. Read about Saturday here and Sunday here.

If there’s one thing I’ll remember about this year’s Helping Hands Foundation winter outing, it’s this:

Thank goodness nobody was recording me during my talent show performance.

For real, though, this year’s event was awesome; just like I expected it to be.  Those of us who attended were happy benefactors, basking in the leadership of amazing folks like Patti, Vennessa and Dayna.  Ok, enough wordplay.  The leadership of the HHF is incredible and they do such a fantastic job with the event.  Bravo to all who helped!

I’m going to write three posts, broken down as such: Friday, Saturday and Sunday/Travel Misadventures.

So…here’s Friday.

My experience this year started WAY better than last: I didn’t miss the bus!  I left my house at 345am, took a bus to Milwaukee at 430am, left for Boston (with a pit-stop in Cleveland) at 8am and arrived a bit after 1pm.  Long, but uneventful.  The plan was to meet-up with my good friend, Tony Memmel, and new friend, Nicole Kelly, at Logan Airport and head to the hotel together.  After wandering around for a while, I finally found Nicole and then Tony found us.  Our friend Annie picked us up and off we went! Continue Reading…

In Uncategorized
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jay mohr sports

How Having One Hand Got Me On Jay Mohr Sports

January 15, 2014 — Leave a comment

Earlier today I was on a nationally syndicated sports radio show.

All because I have one hand.

See, I was listening to Jay Mohr Sports and they were talking about a story wherein a zoo is no longer feeding bananas to monkeys because they say the bananas have too much sugar and calories.  Sports!  Jay was saying how he’s never gone to a zoo and seen fat monkeys just laying around holding their bellies, so, I sent this tweet:

 

Apparently, after I left my car to return to work, Jay read my tweet.  Brad tweeted at me that Jay wanted to know if I really had one hand and that I should call in.  I had a little time left on my lunch, so I did.  And this happened:

 

So, 4 million listeners heard that.  AND I’m getting a gift card!  Sweet.  A couple things stuck out to me after having listened to this.  First, even I don’t know what I meant when I said, “You know how that goes.”  It was the most mundane accident ever.  The part I loved, though, was when Jay tried to ask me about my arm.  The dude is a comedian…I don’t think I’ve ever heard him be so careful about his word choice before in my life.  I was happy to jump in and help diffuse the situation.

I also thought his reaction to my story was interesting.  Like, I only have one arm and I broke the small one…what a disaster!  When, in fact, it would have been worse if I had broken the other one!  He essentially played the Hand Card for me, too!  Classic.

In retrospect, I wish I had said something more profound, but it was spur of the moment and I just went with the flow.  It was cool to be a part of the show and to expose Jay’s audience to Living One-Handed.  I’ve already had several people read one of my most challenging posts and respond positively, which is awesome.

In the big scheme of things, the experience today wasn’t life-altering or anything, but it was a lot of fun.

And next time I’ll talk about something more inspiring.

Like the Packers.

In Humor, Uncategorized
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How To Successfully Play The Hand Card

January 9, 2014 — 4 Comments

Sometimes I play the hand card.

For instance, if I’m lying on the couch watching football and my wife asks me to help with something, I might mumble, “Sorry, I only have one hand.”

Or if a friend asks if I can drive them to the airport I might look at them, point at my arm, then say, “Can’t.”

Basically, if you ask me to do something I don’t want to do…sorry, one hand.

Hopefully it’s obvious to you that in these instances I’m joking.  It’s a cheap joke, for sure, and it gets old (based on the looks and sighs I get from my wife), but it’s still funny to me.  And sometimes it even results in unexpected benefits!  One time at work, for example, I moved desks to where there was a much larger monitor than nearly everyone else had.  My supervisor came by and said she’d need to swap it out for a regular one because they only had so many of them.  I begged and pleaded with her to let me keep it, but she was steadfast.  That’s when I jokingly pulled out the hand card.  “Listen, Michelle,” I said, feigning seriousness.  “I’ve been here a long time and you know I don’t ask for much.  But, c’mon…I have one hand.  Let me keep the monitor.”  “Oh, for crying out loud…just keep it, ya weirdo,” she said.

And I did.

Because THAT is how to successfully play the card.  Throw it out there as a joke and see what happens.

You might be thinking, “Ryan, that’s not really fair.  You can’t ask to be treated the same as everyone else and then play the hand card to get out of things.”  Now, if I actually used it to get out of things, I’d totally agree with you.  The fact that I’m joking 99.9% of the time means I can do it whenever I want because…I have one hand.  See what I did there?

Now, not to get too serious, but, I want to be clear:  I’m not talking about the very real challenges minorities face on a daily basis.  And yes, I’m including amputees as minorities because we are in the minority.  We get stared at, excluded, and made fun of, too.  Though the oppression experienced by amputees is different and usually less overt than others encounter, it has and still does exist.  This is another post in and of itself, methinks.

In reality, I never use my hand as an excuse.  Never would.  That’s why the joke is funny.  It’s absurd.  Not that I needed to explain that to you.  Nevertheless, the next time you’re holding 37 bags of groceries in both hands and you ask if I can get the door…

One hand.

In Humor
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little surprises

The Most Brilliant Question Ever

January 5, 2014 — 1 Comment

Today I surprised my good friend, Stacy.

She was sitting down at church and I went over to give her a hug.  As I was standing behind her, I leaned down and put my right hand on her right shoulder and my left arm on her left shoulder and gave a little squeeze.  She reached up to reciprocate and as her hand reached the end of my left arm, her brows furrowed in confusion.  Then I saw her smile as she remembered what was happening and she patted my arm.  It was adorable.

“I totally forgot about your arm!” she told me later.  Which is funny because I’ve known Stacy for nearly a decade.  She’s “Auntie Stacy” to my kids and my wife’s best friend.  I count her as one of the most important people in my life.  So, that little moment of surprise made me smile like crazy.

Later in the same service, I was standing next to my wife and I was caught off-guard by her beauty.  This is the woman I’ve been in love with for over 15 years and still…those eyes.  That crinkly-nosed smile.  Go ahead and throw-up if you want to.  I know it’s mushy, but I can’t help it.  She’s beautiful.  It’s shameful that I take it for granted so often, but it makes these moments where I realize how blessed I an even more powerful.

It’s so easy to miss these little surprises we run across every day.  We get too busy and stressed and subsequently ignore the moments that would bring us joy.  Let’s not do that.  Sound good?

My kids supply these moments of surprise every dang day.  For instance, my youngest, Claire, asked me the other day, “Daddy, how do you spell ‘eek’?”  I told her how to spell it and she turned back to the table to write it down, but before she began she turned back and asked again, “How do you spell it in a high pitched voice?”  IS THAT NOT THE MOST BRILLIANT QUESTION EVER ASKED?  Seriously…amazing.  My son Sam wrote a rap about “keeping Christ in Christmas” and then made trumpet noises during the “rap parts” of Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling.”  Both of those things surprised me.  Then my daughter Anna punched me in the gut and yelled “POUND IT!” as she ran by.  Ok, that one wasn’t as cute, albeit still surprising.

My point here is that we all come across little surprises every day.  When we recognize them and appreciate them, our lives are better.  That’s it.

So, let’s not miss ’em.

What little surprise has made you smile recently?

In Hope
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