Missing My Dad On Father’s Day

This Sunday is Father’s Day.

It’ll be the first one without my dad.

I’m not sure how it’s going to go, to be honest. It won’t be the same without him here.

I’ve actually been thinking about him quite a bit lately. I keep seeing people who remind me of him. See, we moved into a new building where I work and they’ve been doing a lot of external renovation and now they’re onto the landscaping, so there are guys all over the place who look like my dad. You know the look.

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My dad worked outside as far back as I can remember. He worked for the city and took care of the parks and public lands. He usually wore a baseball cap and a sleeveless shirt, filthy by the end of the work day. He’d wear shorts and boots or his New Balance cross trainers. And he was always tan. You probably see guys like my dad on your way to work or on your drive home. Not afraid to get dirty. Maybe sucking on a cigarette.

He was a hard worker, my dad. He took pride in what he did, as he should have. He was good at it. “If you’re gonna do it, you might as well do it right the first time,” he’d say. He abhorred the bureaucracy that came with being a city worker, but he always fought for what was right. Whether it was getting financing for the parks, or taking care of his employees, he did all he could to make sure the people he served got what they deserved. Whether it was work or family, everybody else came first. I’ve always admired that about him.

He knew his limitations, too, I think. He wasn’t highly educated, but he always knew what he was talking about. He didn’t read much and writing wasn’t his forte, but he could get the job done. I remember him showing me letters he’d written for something at work a few times, not asking for my approval, but I could tell he was looking for it. Just to make sure it was as good as he thought it was, ya know? Even though writing those letters wasn’t his strong suit, he did it anyway and he did to the best of his ability.

He did everything that way.

Whether as an employee or a boss, a son or a brother or an uncle, a mentor or a coach, a friend or a teammate, a husband or a grandfather or…

A dad.

There is no doubt in my mind that my dad gave it everything he had. He gave his best in every capacity. He wasn’t perfect. He was no saint, that’s for damn sure. But, like a good coach, he got the best out of what he had.

That’s what I’m missing about my dad today.

And one day, I hope my kids will be able to say the same about me.

You left a good legacy, dad.

Love you.

Happy Father’s Day.

dad christmas

Coach.

Coach.

Red Huffy and High Socks.

Red Huffy and High Socks.

Dad looks cool. I look like...I'm wearing sweatpants. #cubscouts

Dad looks cool. I look like…I’m wearing sweatpants. #cubscouts

It’s Time To Sign-Up For Another Race

Remember a few weeks ago when I ran my first 5k in like four years?

That was awesome.

And I need to do it again.

The past week has been a struggle for me, to be honest. We went on vacation last Friday through Sunday and I still haven’t really gotten back on track. I’d say my eating habits have been about 60-70% of where they should be and my exercising has been pitiful. That said, I need to remember one of my favorite mottos:

PROGRESS, not PERFECTION.

That’s the hard thing about this, right? Well, it is for me. Every “slip up” takes its toll on my psyche. I mean, I went to frickin’ McDonald’s the other day for lunch. WHAT WAS I THINKING?? I’ll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking, “I want a frickin’ cheeseburger and some french fries.” So, that’s what I got.

After the deed was done, I had a few choices. I could hate myself and drown my sorrows in…well, ice cream or cheese curds or something. Or, I could own the bad choice, regret it, and then move forward and make a better decision. That’s what I need to do the rest of this week. Each of those little decisions add up. Eat a piece of fruit instead of a cookie. Eat some almonds instead of a bag of chips. Go for a run instead of…not going for a run. Even doing an intense 15-minute workout at home will take me closer to where I want to be.

It’s hard to remember that, though, when you’re tired and annoyed.

Which is why I’m signing up for the Evansville 4th of July Run/Walk 5k tonight.

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That gives me two and a half weeks to train hard and to have fun and feel good doing it. I’d love to beat the time of my last race, but I’m mostly looking forward to being there with my friends Andrew and Sarah and Carolyn. My last race was something I needed to do for myself so it was nice to do it on my own (though, now that I think about it, I got to see Carolyn and her husband Mitchell after the finish of that one, too!), but I’m looking forward to sharing this experience with my friends.

So, while things haven’t been horrible in the last week, I know I could have done better. And I will do better the rest of the week.

And now I have a race to look forward to.

Can’t wait!

What’s helps you get back on track after you slip up?