Yes, You Can! A Message of Triumph

Yesterday I got a call from Lloyd Bachrach letting me know that he was giving two presentations at a school near me.

I was introduced to Lloyd about a year and a half ago and this is the first chance I had to meet him, so even though it was really short notice…I went.

Of course.

And I’m so glad I did!

lloyd bachrach ryan haack

Selfie time with Lloyd Bachrach!

Lloyd is a remarkable man, full of energy. He was born with two short legs and he tells his story so well in his presentation. From what the doctors said to his parents to learning to walk to finally deciding he “wanted to be taller,” which resulted in his being fitted for prosthetic legs. The first group of kids were grades K-2 and he handled them like nobody’s business! It was funny to watch the teachers shaking their heads and making comments. “He’s in FULL control!” one of them would whisper. And he was. The second group was grades 3-5 and his presentation was a touch different, but not much. It was incredible to see how confident he was and how the kids respected him.

lloyd bachrach

The kids in rapt attention during the second presentation of the day.

Lloyd spoke about his “dream-makers”: the principal who allowed him into her public school (there were no laws saying she had to at that time – pre-ADA) and his gym teacher who pushed him into sports. Lloyd participated in everything you can imagine, but ultimately became a gymnast, finishing 5th in the entire state of Illinois his senior year of high school! After that, he was a member of the US sitting volleyball team that competed in the Paralympics in Atlanta in 1996.

The kids LOVED his demonstrations. He showed how he walks in his prosthetics and without them. He showed how he runs, with his arms and legs. He also gave an incredible gymnastics demonstration! Incredibly memorable.

I really appreciated the messages he had for the kids. He spoke about where the term “handicapped” came from and why he doesn’t like it and what he prefers instead. Even the word disabled has a connotation to it that says, “You are unable.” So, he tells the kids what he prefers: Differently abled. “See how I ran? I was able to do it, I just do it a little bit different than you do,” he pointed out. Sound familiar? He also shared his keys to living successfully; to overcoming the difficulties we all face in life. Simple, clear and powerful. What also struck me was his bravery. He literally ripped his pants off in front of hundreds of kids and adults he didn’t know. He stood in front of them, proud of who he is and showed them what makes him different and how awesome it is. I loved it. If you have the chance to bring Lloyd to your school, business or whatever, I suggest you do it. Just so good.

As we were walking out together, we made our way carefully through kids playing in the gym (indoor recess). Many of them came up to him and excitedly explained that they, too, were trying to play sitting volleyball! And they gave him high-fives. And one girl gave him a big hug. As we made it out into the hall, he looked at me and said, “And that is what it’s all about.”

And I agree 100%.

To learn more about Mr. Bachrach and his program, visit the “Yes, You Can!” website!

What To Do When Your Child Doesn’t Like How She Looks

I often see parents posting about that dreaded moment. That moment when her child notices that there’s something different about her…and she hates it.

How are we to react in that moment?

Giving parenting advice is tricky. There’s no one “right way” to parent and I get that, so these are just my thoughts; take them with a grain of salt. For one, you’ll never hear me tell anybody how they should or shouldn’t think or feel.  Especially parents.  If your child’s newfound discovery and reaction makes you feel sad or guilty or angry and confused, I get it.  Those are reasonable feelings to have.  I’d like to be an encouragement to you, though.

I can only speak for myself, but I know many other limb-different adults who would agree…if I ever got angry or sad about my arm at an early age, I have no recollection of it.  None.

When our children are small, we help to shape how they think.  I remember when my kids were little, if they fell, I’d cheer.  They’d peer up at me with a look of surprise on their face, like, “Wait…I think I’m hurt.  Shouldn’t you be freaking out?”  And there I’d be, clapping and yelling, “Yay!  That was awesome!”  Then they’d pop up and carry on.  I’m sure you’ve experienced what happens when you gasp and cover your mouth and shout, “OH NO!”  The kid sees YOU freaking out, so THEY freak out.  I’m not a therapist, but I think it’s the same with this situation.  Your little one gets angry and sad about his hand and if you indicate to them that, yes, it IS a raw deal, they’ll carry that with them.  On the other hand, so to speak, if you allow them to feel what they’re feeling, but encourage them to view it as something positive, I believe that can shape their perspective, too.

Continue reading

You Are Important And We Need You

Something happened at work today that made me really angry.

I’m a Team Lead in the Customer Service department for a health insurance company, so I spend a lot of my day having phone conversations with angry people. I also try to help my team know how to handle “difficult callers.” As you might imagine, it’s been pretty tense around the office this year, what with all the changes in health care. With that in mind, I sent out an email to our whole department reminding them how talented and important they are and included a list of ten tips for handling difficult callers. Shortly afterward, I noticed a coworker speaking with my supervisor and she looked pretty shaken-up.

It turned out she had a difficult call, so I listened to it to see what happened. Let me say here that in the nearly nine years I’ve been in this call center, I’ve heard a lot of bad calls. And this one still shocked me. The woman was rude the entire time and then put her boyfriend on at the end only to have him say, “I want to speak to somebody who has a clue what they’re doing.” My co-worker rightly said that she did know what she was doing and he then demanded a supervisor. He had a few more disparaging remarks before he emphatically stated, “You must be black.” As she is a black woman, she calmly said she was ending the call to which he yelled, “F*** YOU, B****!”

To say I wanted to form a search party and go find this clown is an understatement.

Continue reading