Archives For Humor

UPDATE: I’m just using this every year and adding stuff as I see it. If you have any ideas, let me know!

It’s that time once again to spend money on the people we love!

Or we got someone’s name in an exchange and have to get them something.



Here’s a bunch of cool stuff I found that’s super sweet for one-handers, but is ALSO uber-convenient for those of the standard two-handed limb configuration!

First of all, I’d be a terrible author if I didn’t suggest Different Is Awesome!, a book for all children that teaches acceptance and celebration of differences! The story is engaging and the illustrations are bright and fun! A perfect present for that little one on your list! (If you want a signed copy, email me directly!

000_different-is-awesome-cover-GREEN (1)

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Do you remember tracing your hand and then making it into a turkey at Thanksgiving when you were a kid?

I’m pretty sure my mom traced my hand for me and then I colored it.  I’m not sure, though, because my memory is fuzzy.  I don’t remember ever tracing my little arm when I was a kid, but I’ve seen others do it, so I thought I’d give it a try!

Here’s my attempt.  And Happy Thanksgiving!

handcuffs one handed

Just TRY and arrest me!

In this episode:

  • Welcome and recap of the Helping Hands Midwest weekend
  • Interview with Tony Memmel (find him on Twitter, Facebook and at
  • Kwestions with Kristy – What do you remember about starting school?  What advice do you have for parents whose kids are starting soon?
  • Interview with my mom – My mom tells us about when started school – what it was like for her and for me
Lesleigh, Julie, Tony and Me (Photo by Keith Azzopardi)

Lesleigh, Julie, Tony and Me (Photo by Keith Azzopardi)

I’d love if you subscribed on iTunes and left a comment!

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Today I had the pleasure of speaking to about sixty second-graders.  IT WAS AWESOME.  I gave my talk about how being different is awesome and how each of them is awesome in their own way.  I showed one video (the jumping rope one) during my presentation and they liked it so much they basically begged to see more after the Q&A time…so we watched a couple more (including the basketball one where they clapped every time I made a basket)!  I also juggled a couple of my LOH stress relief cubes and then, at the suggestion of my beautiful wife, had a couple volunteers try it.  Then I gave them each a cube for their efforts.

Let me tell you a couple of my favorite parts and then wrap-up with a more serious thought.

My favorite question was from a little girl who asked, “Do you like Downton Abbey?”  I wanted to shout, “FREE BATES!” but instead just told her that was an AMAZING question.

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Today I visited my daughter Claire’s class to capitalize on yesterday’s, uh, eventful experience.

When I arrived this time, all the kids very calmly said, “Hi, Claire’s dad!”  It was pretty clear the teacher had spoken to them after I left yesterday.  As we gathered on the carpet, I confirmed this theory by asking them, “So, did you guys talk about me after I left yesterday?”  I’m super subversive.  They told me that they had all talked about how some people are born with one leg or NO legs or they can’t hear or see, things like that.  At one point as we were identifying differences people might have, this little boy shouted, “MY BROTHER IS SEVEN!”  “That IS different!” I said, trying not to laugh.  He was so earnest and I loved that he identified a difference in his own family.  The teacher asked if they remembered what she said about how we should react and this little boy says, “We’re not supposed to say things about other peoples’ dads.”  Not quite what she was going for, but it made me laugh.  I was overjoyed to hear that she had taken the initiative to talk to her students about the situation and teach them about accepting others.

They had some great questions for me, too, all of them revolving around the same theme: How do you…with one hand?  Most of them didn’t even ask specifics, they just wondered how I did ANYTHING at all.  I told them that I figure out how to do things just like they do.  For instance, I brought a container with two racquet balls in it, so I showed them how I hold it to open it and then took the balls out.  “Do you think I can juggle these?” I asked.  “YES!” shouted Claire.  She was excited about this part all morning.  So, I juggled for them and they clapped as their jaws dropped.  Pretty amazing stuff.

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Aron Ralston Swore At Me

February 21, 2013 — 4 Comments

“You lucky son of a b****,” Aron Ralston said as he playfully punched me.

Find out why…after the break

It’s like The Bachelor all up in here.

I’ll get to why Aron said that to me in a minute, but first, how did I even get myself in that position?  Aron was in Madison today as part of the Distinguished Lecture Series on the UW-Madison campus.  In case you’re not familiar, Aron is “that guy who got stuck in a canyon and had to cut his arm off to get free.”  My friend Mary told me about his upcoming appearance last week.  Thanks, Mary!  I’ve gone to previous lectures and they are always well attended, so I showed up nearly an hour early and it paid off.  I had a great seat even though there were probably a thousand people there.  Such a great turnout to hear him speak!

Aron’s presentation was fantastic.  He walked us through his story, his presentation interspersed with both drama and humor.  He punctuated parts of his story with the lessons he learned from selected events, like the importance of accountability and what he learned about courage and commitment from his ordeal.  He also told us what it’s like to drink your own pee and yes, he went into detail about how he cut his arm off.  Insane.  The whole thing was a wonderful learning experience for a budding speaker like myself, too.

"I suppose drinking your own pee is better than drinking someone else's pee." True fact.

“I suppose drinking your own pee is better than drinking someone else’s pee.” True fact.

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Bring It On, Love

February 12, 2013 — 9 Comments

Valentine’s Day is this week, so what better theme for the blog than love? I’ll be sharing my thoughts on finding love, as will my beautiful wife, but today we kick things off with the hilariously talented Kristy Desilets. Kristy is a teacher in the Boston area who likes to run, loves expressing herself creatively, and secretly wishes she had twenty cats. Shhhh. I met Kristy a couple weeks ago and love her perspective. I hope you’re inspired by her confidence!

Hi, I’m Kristy, and I was born with only a right hand.

Hi, Kristy! Cool helmet.

Hi, Kristy! Cool helmet.

That’s not my usual introduction line to strangers, by the way. As a guest blogger on the topic of finding love, Ryan suggested discussing this question: Had I ever been nervous that I’d never find love because of my (one) hand? To answer that question, I pose another: When was the last time you heard a guy comment, “Wow, that chick’s got a great pair of hands!” Never. That’s when. Turns out most guys don’t care so much about hands. Huh.

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“Of course the prosthetist has one leg,” I thought to myself.

His name was Ken and he was big and loud and, honestly, kind of scary.  He invited me back and I followed him through the halls of Aljan, the place where I’d received my prosthetics some twenty-five years ago.

Look what I can do!

Look what I can do!

I decided to go there again recently, not to get a new arm, but to do some reconnaissance work.  I’m asked all the time about prosthetics and since I haven’t worn one in over twenty years, I figured it’d be good to bone-up on the subject.

The funny thing is, I drive by Aljan every week.  And nearly every time for the last year I’ve thought to myself, “Dude, just make an appointment and go in.”  I’m glad I finally did because I learned a lot.

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